Radical Alternative Technology Series

Tireless Relaxing Underground Caving Kumfort

- Non Stop Fun ! -

The folks from R.A.T.S. have come up with another way to enjoy the sport of caving with only a small amount of physical excertion that is normally needed. Tireless Relaxing Underground Caving Kumfort, or TRUCK.

Is plodding through caves on foot tiring and stressful?

Of course it is.

Is grovelling through slimy mud and icy water amusing?

Not exactly....Then why suffer?

You need to get away and get down with -

"Suave and Debonair" Cave Tours where caving like a neanderthal is passe.

Unlike other cave tours, we do away with needless gear such as ropes, harnesses, and plungers. We ensure your complete comfort as you merely sit while enjoying a caving experience never to be forgotten. Relax as you are chauffeured through the caves in our highly specialized vehicles.

But wait thereís more!

  • Impress your loved one with our "moonmilk serenade", a nostalgic tour in a 1962 Cadillac convertible, an old sweetheart with just one headlight and no horn. Return home feeling light hearted and like a couple of naughty teenagers in love.

  • For all you thrill seekers, we recommend our "Deadly Descent" excursion. Scream in delight as you hurtle through the blackness in our vintage wood burning "Climax" logging locomotive. Your fear of the dark and of locomotives will simply dissolve and youíll feel your cares melt away.

  • Our "Troglodyte Techno" Trip is a must for all those who enjoy the bizarre. This unique 1977 Dodge van has been scientifically modified. It now literally runs on darkness. However, due to the popularity of this enlightening tour, coupled with limited amounts of darkness underground, some passages are no longer dark.
    * We regret these areas are presently only open to the blind. Of course in due time the darkishness will set in, making caving once again enjoyable for all. *

  • Our "Belay to Oblivion" will prove irresistible to those in a party mood. Cruise the cave in a solar powered, fully loaded, luxury coach, complete with closed circuit tv and bar. An amazing experience to be sure.

    Yes we offer something for everyone, at eight "Deadly Descents" Mrs. Myotis Natterer, 89, still holds the record for the most consecutive trips.

    Shatter her record if you dare, and win a copy of "Sex, Drugs, Disasters, and the Extinction of Dinosaurs".

  • Dogsled, hovercraft, helicopter also available.

    Rock bottom prices. One way trips half price.

    Donít be left in the light. -

    Thatís "Suave and Debonair" Cave Tours at 1-800-ITS-DARK.

    Remember -

    Thatís "Suave and Debonair" Cave Tours at 1-800-ITS-DARK.

    Call now!

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